Daddy no more
by chibiangelfromheaven
Summary: All I know that I am “Daddy” no more. Hiashi at a pivotal moment in his daughter's life, thinking about where he went wrong.


I don't own Naruto, I just temporarily filch the characters to analyse their interactions, minds and so on for the enjoyment of myself and hopefully others.

This is a Hiashi piece, with him thinking things he wants to tell his daughter but can't bring himself to say. I just hope it's ok. I knocked it up in about fifteen minutes just now, so if it's a little disjointed blame the time, 'cause it's about10:30pm where I am and it's really hot (heatwave, nothing below thirty nine degress Celsuis for the last week during the day, and nothing below about twenty during the nights).

* * *

I remember the day you were born. It was cold and wet and dark outside, but to me the world could not have been a warmer, brighter, place than at that moment. I vowed that no one would ever take you away from me, my heir and princess.

I remember when you said your first words. You called me Daddy, and I couldn't have been prouder than at that moment. Was this how Hizashi felt when Neji first spoke, I wondered. I truly doubted anyone could be prouder than me of their child's first words.

I remember when you took your first steps towards me out of your mother's arms. Three tiny steps on your tiny bare feet before you stumbled and fell, but it seemed like you'd run a marathon to me.

I remember when I nearly lost you. My heart was in my throat as I killed that man, never thinking of the consequences of my actions. He was trying to take you away, and no one would ever do that. Before he died, Hizashi looked me in the eye and made me promise not to turn you into someone or something you were not meant to be. I didn't understand what he meant, and ignored him at my own peril.

I remember when Hanabi was born. You were so excited about having a little sister. Eager to help and please, that was how you used to be back then. But tragedy struck and we lost your mother, and nearly lost Hanabi too. I didn't want to lose you too, so I took great pains to force you into the docile mould that would later be your downfall.

I remember when you entered the Ninja Academy. You looked so overwhelmed in that parka of yours, and I said some cruel things that day. I only wish I could turn back time and unsay what I said, but that is impossible. You became fascinated by the outcast and his boldness. I tried to turn you away from him, saying all sorts of cruel things about him in your hearing, but if anything that had the opposite effect. You became somewhat of a stalker, one of a small group of girls who preferred the blonde over your cold Uchiha classmate.

I remember when you became a genin. The Inuzuka and the Aburame helped you overcome the weakness I had forced on you, and eventually you grew into the young woman your mother had always dreamed you would be. At one time I wanted you to be that person too, but I lost that vision in my desire to keep you as mine.

I remember when you turned sixteen. Your friends held a party for you and locked you in a cupboard with that idiot you'd been crushing on for years. What happened in that cupboard no one knows, but we do know that you two started dating after that. I never wanted to strangle someone more than when he turned up for your first official date, although he admittedly scrubbed up quite well and took you to a very nice restaurant.

Now I stand here at your wedding, watching you promise to love forever the blonde who is to become the Hokage soon. You look wonderful in that lilac dress that the girls insisted you wear, with the silver and amethyst chain around your neck that your mother wore when I married her.

"She looks beautiful." someone told me, "You must be so happy that she's marrying someone so important."

No, I want to say, I'm not happy at all. I want you to still be that little girl who wore a butterfly-print kimono at her first festival and who called me "Daddy". Not "Father" like you do now, but "Daddy" like you used to as a little girl.

When did I stop being "Daddy" and start being "Father"? Was it when your mother died and I tried to make you what my brother dreaded I would? Or was it when I said those cruel things when you were present? Was I ever truly "Daddy", or did you call me that only because your mother told you to and after she was gone there was no reason to call me that anymore?

It matters not now. All I know that I am "Daddy" no more, and I never will be.

For what it is worth, aijou, I am sorry for what I did.

Can you ever forgive me?

* * *

For what it's worth, aijou (according to the online translator I use) means beloved daughter. 

Reviews appreciated, but not required.


End file.
